micdotcom:

Forget the spreadsheet, here’s an easy flowchart to know if a women owes you sex

Microsoft Excel took a turn for the explicit this week when the Internet learned the once-innocuous office tool was being used in a dispiriting new bro-trend: using the software to track of the number of times their partners refuse sex. Yes, #sexspreadsheets are a thing, presumably because some men still believe that owning of a penis entitles them to unlimited sexy times.

Sorry, guys, that’s just not the way the world works | Follow micdotcom 

posted 11 minutes ago with 12,050 notes
via:ijustwanttohugdavidtennant source:micdotcom

narcotic:

do you ever see someone hot and you just think “bruuuuuuuuh” 

posted 18 minutes ago with 203,256 notes
via:snowflakefire source:narcotic
#q

outcense:

outcense:

"you’re gay/bi? I’m sorry but like… how do I know you won’t have a crush on me?" because you just said that

im glad this post is still a thing

posted 40 minutes ago with 85,445 notes
via:clevermargaery source:outcense
#q

shslequius:

*puts shoulder on son* hand

(Source: clgdoublelifts)

posted 1 hour ago with 214,463 notes
via:secretly-a-time-lord source:clgdoublelifts
#q

alwaysanimeboys:

有紀

http://merthur-have-the-tardis-at-221b.tumblr.com/post/92634935258/snafflebithumptywink-tbh-the-best-marvel

snafflebithumptywink:

tbh the best marvel headcanon i’ve ever imagined is steve and bucky being giant disney nerds back in the day when there were like 4 disney movies in existence and so then when they’re reunited steve’s like guess what happened when i was in an iceberg and you were a…

lupinely:

natasha teaches bucky and steve about saying ‘same’ ironically and now whenever something blows up on a mission they’re just like

'same'

in perfect unison

posted 2 hours ago with 15,219 notes
via:iamcastielwinchester source:lupinely
#q #headcanon

ifollowbadblogs:

imheretowye:

At least he still has Jackson.

it’s funny because that is a 30 year old man sitting on billy ray’s lap

(Source: mixedheaven)

posted 2 hours ago with 266,850 notes
via:destiel-sherlocked-the-tardis source:mixedheaven
#q

octopusheart:

dendropsyche:

sharped0:

clientsfromhell:

Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.

Me: What black pen?

Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.

Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?

Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.

this almost made me cry

this is simultaenously the best and worst submission i’ve ever seen from Clients from Hell.

I feel ill

wwjdwtbfb

michaxl:

what would jesus do with that big fat butt

posted 3 hours ago with 5,033 notes
via:jesuschristvevo source:michaxl
#q #jesus
DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS SWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE
posted 3 hours ago with 104,691 notes
via:brolin-pendragonlord source:shingeki-no-unicorns
#q

equiuszahhak:

BEWARE: smoking weed can have dangerous side effects, such as never shutting the fuck up about the fact you smoke weed

(Source: hanamurateruteru)

posted 3 hours ago with 228,918 notes
via:sawakoe source:hanamurateruteru
#q

Love - is a dangerous disadvantage (inspired by x)

(Source: beejohn)

posted 4 hours ago with 4,537 notes
via:halloawhatisthis source:beejohn
#q

(Source: meme-meme)

posted 4 hours ago with 261,664 notes
via:destiel-sherlocked-the-tardis source:meme-meme
#q

gaymzee:

no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore

dear cas